Remember to feel real.

There’s just too much going on;

too many decisions to be made, too many choices to pick from.

Why is everything so damn hard?

I don’t want to be broken anymore.

How

I don’t know how to do this. It’s all so new to me. How do I protect myself from emotional pain when I want so badly to let someone in, who I know will only hurt me in the end?

Why is everything so foggy lately. Why can’t it be black and white, a clear cut decision?

I just want to be happy and whole again but how can I be when I know very well that every choice, even the little ones, will affect my entire life, forever?

I don’t know why I’m so confused and I don’t know why I let it consume me like this. I deserve happiness: plain, simple, lasting happiness. Everyone does. So why does everything have to be so complex and confusing?
Fuck feelings and fuck making decisions.
I wish things could be easy, just once. Like they used to be.